Do you remember radio plays? I was a child at the tail-end of that wonderful form of entertainment. I used to love listening to radio plays on my mama's favorite station. It was like being read to, but watching a movie at the same time. At least that is how I described it, then. The truth was that it got my imagination running and I could get lost in the story just. Like. That.
It took a while before I gave in and tried Audible books. I have always been a reader and something seemed, well, lazy about it. I am not a child, anymore. I can read for myself, thank you very much. That is why when an old friend of mine suggested that I should try listening to books on audio while I was busy with housework or driving, I smiled slightly and changed the subject.
Three years later, I finally tried it. I started yesterday and I have listened to two lectures on writing creative fiction and half of a novel. I want to point out that I have been busy while listening to the novel. The lectures? I take notes and then do the assignments that he suggests. I've been listening for two days and I am in love with Audible.
Honestly, I am a little frustrated at the thought that I won't have time to listen tomorrow. TWO, count'em TWO family Thanksgivings to attend. How dare my precious family time take up my audio book time?
No, really. I am looking forward to Thanksgiving. Honest. I can listen on Friday.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Grief and Loss
From the outside it looks like any other building, but as I draw closer, the stark blackness of it engulfs me. There is a light on in there, but it isn't very bright. The moon is behind me and I see my own reflection in the broken window. I am in pieces and splayed out in a circle. I think someone should break it out and put a new sheet of glass in there. If it breaks unexpectedly, people could get hurt. I have climbed the steps and reached the door. I can hear them inside. There is laughing, shouting, and singing... I hesitate. If I knock on this door, someone will answer, and then I will have to go inside- where happy people play around me. In the dark.
My response to a course assignment - Describe a place from the point of view of a parent who has lost a child without pointing out they have lost a child.
I have never lost a child. My nephew died in a car accident three years ago and it was a living hell, but my grief was not the same as my sister's. And just this last weekend, my cousin lost his youngest - only slightly older than Danny was... and in a car accident. Life is so unpredictable. So is death. :(
My response to a course assignment - Describe a place from the point of view of a parent who has lost a child without pointing out they have lost a child.
I have never lost a child. My nephew died in a car accident three years ago and it was a living hell, but my grief was not the same as my sister's. And just this last weekend, my cousin lost his youngest - only slightly older than Danny was... and in a car accident. Life is so unpredictable. So is death. :(
Daily Life Of A Bipolar Writer
I'm dreaming. I have memorable dreams every night. I can recall them all soon after I wake up, but others stick with me. My most vivid dreams follow the same themes. I think about them while I drink coffee, with my husband sitting beside me wondering why I am so quiet and serious in the mornings. He works the second shift and I do most of my writing while he's gone.
I sit here at my desk in front of an open window, with fans blowing air behind me, checking email, checking Facebook, and of course, this blog. While I'm checking my blog I bookmark posts from Discover and my reader and then check for available assignments. I grab what I can and start writing.
When it's been 3 hours and my shoulders, neck, and swollen feet are feeling it, it is time for coffee or iced tea and an oh-so-good-for-me cigarette. And this is where I get in trouble. I've learned a few things. Three hours worth of freelance web content is about all I'm good for, folks.
My thoughts do not stop and I am not always sure I want them to! I create in my head until my cigarette is gone and then head back inside with the intention of looking up a particular phrase, brand name, synonym....
Before I know it, an hour goes by and I am now reading about street life in Asia. Fortunately, I always bookmark my searches.
This is when I get to write for myself and it feels so nice to be in the flow.
Well, on some days that is true. On others, I'm probably reading blogs and exploring fabulous artists, or playing a game and telling myself I should be writing.
I went to bed at 7 this morning and got up at noon. I've been reading and writing ever since on the day I am not supposed to be working at all.
This is mania. She and I have a love/hate relationship.
She's my muse, my antagonizer, my mother, my child, my coach - and the reason I am not sleeping or dreaming away my sleep.
Sometimes she is even the reason I am not falling apart.
Music time :)
I sit here at my desk in front of an open window, with fans blowing air behind me, checking email, checking Facebook, and of course, this blog. While I'm checking my blog I bookmark posts from Discover and my reader and then check for available assignments. I grab what I can and start writing.
When it's been 3 hours and my shoulders, neck, and swollen feet are feeling it, it is time for coffee or iced tea and an oh-so-good-for-me cigarette. And this is where I get in trouble. I've learned a few things. Three hours worth of freelance web content is about all I'm good for, folks.
My thoughts do not stop and I am not always sure I want them to! I create in my head until my cigarette is gone and then head back inside with the intention of looking up a particular phrase, brand name, synonym....
Before I know it, an hour goes by and I am now reading about street life in Asia. Fortunately, I always bookmark my searches.
This is when I get to write for myself and it feels so nice to be in the flow.
Well, on some days that is true. On others, I'm probably reading blogs and exploring fabulous artists, or playing a game and telling myself I should be writing.
I went to bed at 7 this morning and got up at noon. I've been reading and writing ever since on the day I am not supposed to be working at all.
This is mania. She and I have a love/hate relationship.
She's my muse, my antagonizer, my mother, my child, my coach - and the reason I am not sleeping or dreaming away my sleep.
Sometimes she is even the reason I am not falling apart.
Music time :)
As Above So Below - A Quote
Thousands of years ago in ancient Egypt, the great master alchemist Hermes Trismegistus, believed to be a contemporary of the Hebrew prophet Abraham, proclaimed this fundamental truth about the universe: "As above, so below; as below, so above." This maxim implies the the transcendent God beyond the physical universe and the immanent God within ourselves are one. Heaven and Earth, spirit and matter, the invisible and the visible worlds form a unity to which we are intimately linked.
From Introduction in As Above, So Below: Paths to Spiritual Renewal in Daily Life
Ronald S. Miller and the editors of New Age Journal
An Uneducated Rant About This Flat Earth
Other than the historical references to a flat earth I learned about in elementary school, I had never heard of the flat earth theory. Until just recently, I would never have believed there were actually large groups of people out there who believe the earth is flat and that the whole sphere idea is a global... er... landwide conspiracy to keep us from knowing the truth. Aside from the silliness of a flat earth, I want to know how governments, NASA and scientists everywhere benefit from fooling the entire population.
I'm a bit behind the times when it comes to this "new" conspiracy theory, so one of my first questions was how flat earthers explain how we travel in one direction and get to the other side of the world. I googled it. It is the Pac-Man theory. We don't really travel around the globe. When we reach the far east, we are immediately transported to the west side of this flat piece of earth. Aha! That makes perfect sense.
Our flat earth is held up by pillars. [What do the pillars stand on? I'm insanely curious to find out more about that...] But not all flat earthers think that is so. Some think it is just a thick, flat, round disc sitting in space. At least I think they believe in space. I haven't looked that up.
Of course there are many more eye-opening "proofs" that our earth is flat, but they too seem to be based on imaginative (video game?) ideas.
I believe in many things. I am also a skeptic. For example, I believe in UFO's. However, I do not believe every sighting and every reported alien abduction is evidence of aliens. I believe people have seen what we call Bigfoot. However, I do not believe every person (probably not even most) who claim to have encountered the creature is living in reality.
I can't begin to wrap my mind around the flat earth theory (note the silly little pun). And oh yeah. Some of the flat earthers will even tell you that dinosaurs never walked the earth. They were invented by people who wanted to fool us -- the same people who want us to believe our planet is round.
What? What? What?!
Why?
I'm a bit behind the times when it comes to this "new" conspiracy theory, so one of my first questions was how flat earthers explain how we travel in one direction and get to the other side of the world. I googled it. It is the Pac-Man theory. We don't really travel around the globe. When we reach the far east, we are immediately transported to the west side of this flat piece of earth. Aha! That makes perfect sense.
Our flat earth is held up by pillars. [What do the pillars stand on? I'm insanely curious to find out more about that...] But not all flat earthers think that is so. Some think it is just a thick, flat, round disc sitting in space. At least I think they believe in space. I haven't looked that up.
Of course there are many more eye-opening "proofs" that our earth is flat, but they too seem to be based on imaginative (video game?) ideas.
I believe in many things. I am also a skeptic. For example, I believe in UFO's. However, I do not believe every sighting and every reported alien abduction is evidence of aliens. I believe people have seen what we call Bigfoot. However, I do not believe every person (probably not even most) who claim to have encountered the creature is living in reality.
I can't begin to wrap my mind around the flat earth theory (note the silly little pun). And oh yeah. Some of the flat earthers will even tell you that dinosaurs never walked the earth. They were invented by people who wanted to fool us -- the same people who want us to believe our planet is round.
What? What? What?!
Why?
About That Moon Thing
Speaking of the moon and menstrual cycles… There are few who haven’t heard about the correlation
In truth, I have always found the idea that our personalities and life cycles align with the moon and stars an interesting one. I don’t follow my horoscope or check out zodiac signs before connecting my Piscean energies with a possible incompatible sign or anything like that.
Okay. Maybe I have looked into that kind of thing. But I don’t live by it. Still, I am interested in experimenting with the moon and my own energies. I figure it can’t hurt and maybe I can learn something. That could be the Pisces in me. *wink*
The Moon Diet
According to moon dieters, fasting on the day of the new moon and the first day of the full moon helps to rid the body of even more excess water and toxins than fasting at other times of the month. Whether that is true or not is not really relevant as fasting for one day two weeks apart is not unhealthy for those without special dietary needs.
According to respected sources, intermittent fasting is good for your health.
My goal here is to lose weight and cleanse in a way that is not overdone. I figure that since my menstrual cycle follows the moon cycles so closely, why shouldn’t the rest of my body feel and react according to the phases? If that is so, the moon diet plan is well worth a go. As far as diet plans go, it is less restrictive than many and probably healthier than the most popular diets followed right now.
NaNoWriNo
It isn’t a bad thing, really. Many love it.
I thought I would participate in NaNoWriMo this year, but I was wrong. Instead, my story has turned into a short story. Now, I know that is not the spirit of NaNoWriMo. The idea is to sit down and write, write, write until you have a novel written.
But I have a problem. I go where my story wants to go and my story wants to be a short story. I won’t ruin it by forcibly adding on to it in order to fulfill this crazy idea that something good will come of my participation in NaNoWriMo.
Well, it is either that or I just gave up.
I prefer my explanation.
Maybe next year.
What is NaNoWriMo?
If you are a writer, you probably already know about this…
NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. It begins on November 1 and ends on November 30th of every year. Thousands and thousands of writers participate in pushing out a novel of 50,000 words in 30 days of time. There are some excellent reviews of it as many have found that participating proves to them that YES, they do have it in them to write a book.
It’s a great idea. I wrote two chapters in 2016. I saved the chapters because my daughter loves the story and insists I have to finish it one day. But in the meantime, there are short stories, blog posts, articles, and other things to write. I think I do have it in me to write a book. But it just isn’t quite ready to come out yet.
You know what? I still feel guilty. I won’t ask if that is normal because I know the answer: That is normal for me.
Good luck all you NaNoWriMo lovin’ writers! Maybe I’ll join in next year. Or not.
Check out the official site - NaNoWriMo
From One Smoker To Another
As a smoker who has tried to quit many times, I am not going to sit here and preach about the dangers of smoking and then tell you that withdrawals don't last long. I once quit for several months and I wanted a cigarette every single day.I have seen smokers quit and I know that it can be done. I don't know anyone who had the same experience as another. We are all individuals. We experience everything differently.
I ask myself:
Why did I start smoking?
Why do I smoke now?
What are my triggers for smoking?
What methods of quitting have I tried?
Why I Started Smoking
I started smoking when I was 18 years old. I thought it made me cool. Yep. I started smoking because I thought it was a cool thing to do.
My triggers are typical patterns, social, and emotional.
My Pattern Smoking Triggers
I smoke with coffee, after meals, before bed, after sex, and when I am done with every project or chore.
 |
| Coffee and a Cigarette |
My Social Smoking Triggers
I smoke because other smokers are smoking. I will go outside to have a cigarette and talk to other smokers.
My Emotional Smoking Triggers
I smoke when I am feeling depressed, anxious, angry, super happy, or bored.
Why I Smoke
I smoke because quitting makes me feel anxious all the time, gives me headaches, makes insomnia worse, causes me to eat too much and too often, and because I can be downright bitchy when I don't have nicotine - from a cigarette - not a patch, gum, or lozenge.
I smoke because it has become a part of my life and giving it up will not only cause withdrawals, it will leave and empty space in my life.
I also smoke because I LIKE to smoke. I enjoy every lung damaging, cancer causing,blood pressure raising, wrinkle promoting, delicious cigarette.
I have tried all of the nicotine products.
- Patches? Wanted a cigarette.
- Gum? I could not keep it between my cheek and gum. I absentmindedly chew and it caused a flood of nicotine that made me sick and shaky.
- I could not suck on a lozenge. I chewed it -- and they don't taste good.
- I have quit cold turkey. I wanted a cigarette all the time and I gained weight.
- I have tried Wellbutrin. I had a hard time getting excited in bed and when I finally did, I could not have an orgasm.
I have never tried Chantix or similar meds because they raise the risk of seizures and I am epileptic, already.
Did I mention I suffer from bipolar 1? I'm a little afraid that I'll develop another worse addiction if I quit. That's a valid fear. It may not be a good excuse, but the concept is valid.
But I WANT TO QUIT.
I have friends who quit using nicotine replacement methods and friends who quit using Chantix. I know people who quit cold turkey and are smoke free after 10 years. One of my friends swears by workouts and meditation. Another says she found it EASY after a few days.
If you are former smoker, feel free to share how you quit and how it made you feel - unless it was easy for you. I don't want to hear that. That's just annoying.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)